My name may not be one you recognize. But, four years ago, I went to Chabad every Shabbos. I was an active Hillel member. I too braved those long walks to the Union and the Chabad House. I too, even went on Birthright Israel. But, by the end of freshman year, the gray skies of Binghamton, the independence, took its toll on me. I am still searching for the exact reason, but I stopped believing. Not in Hashem, but in my connection to the Jewish world. All around me were other ideas, than the ones I was constantly taught as a child.
Then there was a realization. I could either go to services just because everyone was doing it or take some time on my own and like I did when I was on birthright, find my place and where I wanted, not my parents, but where I wanted Judaism to fit into my future. So I experienced Passover in Belgium and befriended people of every religion, race, and ethnicity.
Contrary to what I previously believed, those people to this day are some of the most amazing people I have ever encountered. I spent nights debating with them realizing how little I truly knew about my own culture and religion.
So this semester, I became re-involved with Jewish organizations. BUT, this time around I embraced a different mindset. I would no longer try to be as Jewish as I could be as my freshman year in order to be accepted. Instead, I would be as open minded as I could be. More like when I was a wide eyed eight year old at Hebrew school instead of an 18 year old freshman in college that appeared to be experienced with the Jewish world.
You know what happened? I was accepted with open arms. And by allowing myself to understand and appreciate my weaknesses, by meeting and re-meeting people this semester, I realized that the Jewish people can also be some of the most wonderful people I have encountered. I was Jewish and I wanted to learn and that was all that matters.
It’s scary to admit that. That I can believe in something I don’t know all the reasons or explanations for. Yet people exist, have existed for the past four years that want to help me find my answers.
That’s when I realized how truly special the Binghamton University Jewish community really is.